#23 - A Letter From The Mayor


      I wanted to address a little piece of business that's come to my attention over the last couple of days.

      I understand there have been some people who are confused and maybe a little upset by last week's declaration. While I can certainly understand the initial shock of these new bylaws, and the hesitation expressed by some, Iím here to tell you citizens, that any sort of uprising or backlash against the powers that be is completely unacceptable, and will be dealt with swiftly and severely. Change and forward progression takes time but is, after all, the cornerstone of our livelihood.

      Iíve received a few letters simply asking one question; why? To address this question, Iíll ask you to open your minds a bit to the possibilities. It is my strong belief that this new order will make our town a much more enjoyable place to live and to raise a family. Gun crime will decrease sharply, as will most other crime for that matter, domestic disturbances, physical abuse and auto theft. You name it, really, and I am positive weíll see a drop in the numbers.

      Now I want to talk briefly about some of the other concerns that have come to the surface about our plan. Some have mentioned the handicap it will present to our day to day lifestyles. Some have even mentioned things like civil rights and the legality of it all. Some are asking; whereís the common sense in laws as radical as these?

      Well citizens I see nothing too radical about putting our children to bed without the fear of someone opening up a bedroom window and stealing them away in the night. Iím trying ever so hard, but am coming up short when I try and find the common sense in being gunned down in cold blood for the contents of our wallets, for our hard earned money.

      So in conclusion, dear citizens, I am fully confident that operation Hands Off will, with your cooperation, be as successful as we envisioned. Our friendly and highly trained enforcers are excited to meet you and your family as this new way of life is implemented slowly but surely. Again, I ask for nothing but your complete and enthusiastic cooperation in this matter. If you do try to run we will find you and if we have to chase you we'll cut off more than just your hands.

      Thank you, and have a good day,
      The Mayor

      Dictated but not read.

©2009 Broken Chair